In college she was the topper and everyone's eyes was on her.. and honestly I always felt people wanted to cling on to her all the time, u know its good to be recognised along with a brainy rather than with a dumbass.. On top of it she was foreign returned and had a accent !! hehe.
We both were together in lab exper and practical exams etc as first letter of our names were not too far in the english albhatetical order ;) We were more of just classmates. I doubt if we were friends. She made sure that she kept a distance with everyone around.. May be she didnt feel anyone that interesting, nor trustworthy or may be not that intellectual.. I never undestodd the reason quite well than when I was in the college...However, we had few common interests and that was staring the sky with silence in the hostel terrace and ofcourse the undeniable music and the walkman, cassets(OMG- the cassette zamana) and sipping the coffee in the college canteen. It was fun... those days were nice. Dormant and lazy attitude towards studies, but with high career aspirations and big dreams.. !! I dont remember even single class were I have lsitened to the lecture. A single internals/ externals were I have studied to my hearts content. That reminds me .. how always me and her used to enter the exam hall when there was only one minute left for the exam to begin and how we both used to be always late to the everyday class. Gosh.. it takes some guts to set this trend in the college!! hehehe..
Coming back to her, as I said I would not call both of us as friends when we were in college as it was a suffocating atmosphere that we all were in during college and our all time motive was to get out of the halli !!( the place I did my eng was a rural village, literally inside a forest and the place was known as Halligattu :) ) .. As we graduated.. obviously we were all meant to go apart and none of us mourned for it. One sudden day, I happen to meet her and from then we started to be in touch and continued to be friends.. Initially I was hesitant as I knew the person she was.. she would not be a hushy mushy friend. Thats when I almost decided that I will have almost zero expectations from this friendship and I honestly just did that. Of course there were times, when I have expected from her and felt bad. I might or might not have expressed this to her... but I never carry the negative thoughts forward when it comes to her. I leave it there and move on. But thats not the person I am generally. That makes me feel happy about myself.
She has definetely gone through a lot of downs in her life. What makes me feel proud is she has stood by all that alone and have fought back. She is a person who believes in what she does and has no regrets at all. She definetely is a lot more rational even though she has her emotional side. She is a winner and will continue to win. Sometimes I miss her but at the same time happy that she is finally getting what she deserves and has to finally stay where she belongs. I wish someday Phani changes his mind and we also can settle down in the US and be close with the friends we love. If that happens then we will be far from the family we love. So, u loose if u want to gain and when u loose something u gain on the things that are stilll intact with you. I think at the end of the day in this modern day world, its hard to live closer to everyone. It bogs down to ur husband and children. What matters and what stays until the end is those countless moments and memories both good and bad... memories that can make u smile and travel back to the time. I will miss u my friend, but I hold no one and one fine day there might be a chance that we both may no longer be in touch.. but that doesn mean that I dont love u and miss u...
-D
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