Ego and Adjustment - doesnt go hand in hand.

Offlate, I have been closely watching people around me and hearing about so many tales that are not really rosy ! What I could see that there is no big problem, all are small issues but people are not open to communicate with each other. The best thing is when u weigh both sides, no one is to be blamed. It is just the situation in which both the parties are !! However I do not want to deny the fact that people can always talk it out. I am sure all of us have a ego, that stands higher than the wiser thoughts we have. I have been hearing of husband insulting his wife with no mercy infront of public, problems between son and father, daughter-in law and in laws. List just goes on....But not one gets to look at this from a close proximity even though we everyday hear of terrible things happening around the world. The other day my dad and I had this big fight and few clash of words which instantly poisened the atmosphere ... It is very disturbing to have such conversations. All said and done, it is inevitable sometimes and is good to put things out instead of keeping it inside your mind and watering your thoughts day in and day out. Appa and I obviously cleared it out when in the cool heads later and we hold no opinions about each other. But this does not happen in most of the other forced relationships within a family.The main problem I see is:

-People dont want to communicate with each other

-Everyone thinks he/she is always right

-Most people dont consider their daugher-in laws as one among their children, Partiality is always loudly visible ... (Is also equally applicable vice versa with daughter in laws)

-There is no open discussion about small issues and ego comes in between to accept mistakes and move on

-Complain about all the problems to a third person out of family, but not enough courtesy to solve it between the people were the problem lies. One fine day you get to know from the third person that this has been told about you by your own family members !

-No one wants to adjust to others way of life

According to me practically it is impossible to please anyone completely. It is best to be independent and live by yourself, if you think the relationship is getting bitter. Definetely a honest effort has to be made to set it right. Now its altogether different question if you dont want to set it right.

It is very complex and there is no definetive rule as such. It is situation based and to an extent individual based. Life is never rosy forever and everyone has to go through it themselves to understand others problems. Now there are rare souls like Phani who can think rationally without being biased. If I were to be in such situation, I would ask to myself is it really required to adjust to the situation or can I be free and let the other person also free.. this may not go too well with society.. but society does not give you peace of mind...

-D