Silly frustrations!!

Sometimes, I lose myself when I am around few people. I am not comfortable and I feel suffocated. I cant be the way I want to and speak the way I like. Ex. when you have some outsiders at home, you have to cook for them 3 times a day, you have to sit and listen to what they talk and provide a response that they would expect,you cannot discuss your personel things, you cant do anything that you would like to do. This happens to me sometimes when I am surrounded by people whom I am not comfortable with. It simply happens because, there is a age gap, there is gap in the lifestyle, there is a gap in the exposure. One other thing puts me off is, when both phani and I are not treated equally and when he is treated with special attention, he is not expected to do any housework but I am expected to do everything on time, he is been loved with no difference, but I am just a assigned person to do things and nothing about me is asked or cared.

I feel I am over stressing myself sometimes, but inevitably I feel bad. I can see the difference and it does hurt me. Its my bad that I expect to be treated equally but I just feel bad soemtimes.

Anyways, there is no point dragging this...If I need to find negative aspects, I can always go on..but by doing that I am losing my own peace of mind. I definetely cant change the world nor I have the courage to go upto the people and criticise them for what they do to me. These things actually make no impact to my day to day life as I hardly encounter with these kind of people once in a while. I guess it depends on your gender, if you are a boy you are not expected to do anything and if you are a girl then you are here to fulfill all the expectations.. such is our indian society and I cant bring any revolution. But I dont know sometimes why it becomes so important to me that they have to love or care about me? I talk so much philosophies and at the end fall into the same trap of emotions and the cycle keeps repeating. OR may be my expectations with people is unrealistic and it is never bound to happen. This is just a spur of a moment and I am sure I would not even care about it after a while, but what I need to learn is not land up myself in such situations and traumatise myself with such absurd feelings which will only spoil my peace of mind. Also; learn to handle situations with such people around and do whatever I can do best and expect back nothing from them at all. I dont know when I can do that, but if I dont change my mindset then I would land myself in the same situation again as today !!

-D